Today is beautiful. It’s freezing cold, frosty, with bright blue skies overhead and the sunlight is streaming through the windows so that the steam from my coffee looks like wisps of clouds ascending.
I really must get my phone and share it with the universe with a quick hashtag update on my social feeds. Or, I could keep my view private to this point in time and just enjoy it for being perfect for me right now.
As I sit on my sofa and type and gaze at my seven foot (!) Christmas tree and through to the woodland outside, I am fully aware that in five days time it will be Christmas Eve.
I have an inner doubt that what I offer to those I love this Christmas is not enough. Should I have blown my budgets and just stuck everything on the credit card? What if the little gifts are seen by those I chose them for as just that; small? Will I be judged as not generous enough? Are any of the offerings worth an Instagram photo? Will the presents need special camera filters to make them look ok? What if the food isn’t exceptional enough, or my cooking is just too dull? Do I have a handmade table runner with matching napkins? In fact, what is a table runner? What if….?
All of this rubbish keeps me from enjoying giving. It’s all there, right in front of me, each time I write a non-handmade-card that I “really should have made”. All the questions that make me feel less of who I was created to be.
In the week that I read that Sean Parker, ex-vice president for Facebook, stated that Facebook, (who owns Instagram and What’s App), was created to exploit the venerability of the users, I have to ask if I would have these self-doubts fifteen years ago. Is my vulnerability merely manufactured so that I can support large conglomerates through posting photos of my handmade, ethically sourced offerings? (Oh, the sweet irony.) Is my giving deemed as less, (by myself), through my insecurity brought about through my daily blue screen?
Cornerstone Therapies offers people time and space so that they can reconnect with themselves. My aim for all who come across my work is for all of you to build a healthy relationship with your body, mind and heart.
As we come into the last mile of the Christmas rush, with parking wait times in Guildford at an average of 45 minutes, I have to ask myself if I am giving myself enough space to breathe in deep, hold my space and know that I am enough. Do I stand in the knowledge that I will not be judged on how I operate over the next week and that the whole point of Christmas is that a divine love relationship was started just for us to jump in to and enjoy? If I do not ask this of myself, how dare I encourage you guys to find peace in the middle of roasting potatoes with condensation dripping down the kitchen windows?
As people get in touch to book massage sessions for the week between Christmas and New Year, there is a common theme of headaches and tight necks, shoulders that resemble earrings and sleep patterns that have been broken. All of which I can help ease out and give time for the reconnection to start afresh. But I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t sit here now and explore why my own body is in need of some time out and my brain needs anything but the coffee in front of me.
In the search for the perfect door wreath, and as I pick up the last of the gifts today, I challenge myself to look at what I’m doing and simply ask;
“Jenny, could you do this slower with more peace and a bundle more joy?”
After all is done, the only things that will be left are love, hope and faith.
So breathe deep this Christmas, join me in slowing down, and lets group together at rebelling against our inner doubt and step into a love based Christmas time.